Not beauty related BUT - Do people really do these things?

24 December 2012

I've been really ill the last couple of days which has meant having to sit and basically do nothing (apart from throw up) but sit on the sofa, watch tv, read blogs, read the papers online and just rest.  Whilst I detest this to the max it does seem to have made me very aware of some crazy crazy things people do and say. And by people I mean women.

Just watching random tv programmes and films and reading things online made me notice things that I hadn't thought of before because, to be honest, to me the answers are quite obvious, but so many women seem to be confused! Now I am no relationship expert but... DAMN! are people thick?

Women trying to ask their friends or the person they are dating 'where is this relationship going'?....

Firstly, if you don't know then who the hell does? Secondly if you have to ask then it's probably not going anywhere actually at the moment so either hang tight and see what happens or give up if you are desperate for immediate action and, finally, asking this must be a right kick in the balls and make you look like such a nag...don't frigging ask this question unless you want to look like a whining woman!

Women who say 'I slept with him  on the first date but he didn't call, why hasn't he called?'....

Well you've just answered your own question! If you're giving out the candy for free nobody's going to buy the sweetshop darling. Facepalm.

Men being dragged around shops at Christmas looking like they want someone to kill them and women arguing with them for dragging behind, not helping or not giving you good advice in your present buying and seeming surprised that their hub doesn't suddenly shop like gok frigging wan.

Derr. My mum used to drag me round Marks and Spencer when I was little and all I kept doing was running away. Why? because it was about as much fun as cheese grating my flesh.  This is how the majority of men feel about shopping in general, then add that to a packed Christmas shopping time of year mall and he will feel like he is in hell.  Just don't do it!  Ask him to help you wrap the presents, ask him to help you write a list of who wants what, hell ask him to drive you there, wait in the car and then pick you up but you're just going to argue otherwise so you're making a rod for your own back! Obviously if your man likes shopping then go nuts! But if not then just imagine if he wanted you to go to a strip club and pick out the best stripper for his mate's stag do...awkward... that's how much he's enjoying the shopping trip.

Asking anyone 'do I look fat in this?'

If you have to ask then probably.  If you don't and are trying to draw attention to the fact you look fabulous then stop being an attention whore, someone will tell you that you look nice if you do.

Why hasn't he called me?

Three answers
1. He lost his phone
2. He's just not that into you
3. He's just fricking busy!

It doesn't really matter either way as you are NOT, repeat NOT, going to call him so unless he does bother to call you then you'll never know.  If a man can chase a ball around a pitch, a fish around a lake and another man around a paintball field he can sure as hell be the one doing the one chasing you. If he can't be bothered then he's not worth bothering about.  And if he makes you wait ages to call then let that shit go to voicemail and call back another day.

Does he fancy me?

Probably.  If he's being weird enough for you to notice. If you like him then try and give him some signal that you are interested too, he'll be unlikely to do anything if he thinks you're going to laugh in his face, if not then make up a hunky fireman boyfriend!

Is it just me? Aren't these things fricking obvious?


Fleur said...

Hahaha I adore this post! SO true! Also with the relationship 'I don't know where it's going!' - does it necessarily have to be going somewhere?! Can't you just be having a nice time together and enjoying that? Some women are definitely making their lives harder for no reason. x


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