Ever thought WHY you like blogging? It’s because you feel liked and appreciated like you have some respect.
In real life nobody gives a stuff, you have to listen to Callum next door talk about his hernia AND that woman at the bus stop always moans about her tomato plants lack of growth. Nobody takes a blind bit of notice when you speak (ever), about anything, not even your family!
On-line the story is totally different, you are the queen of your castle and in a safe little bloggy cocoon. You post on facebook and people actually ‘like’ it! It’s a revelation.
However, sometimes the cocoon can drive you a leeetle bit insane.
So here are my top signs that blogging is driving you nuts
You never go anywhere without your camera. You photograph each meal before eating it even if that means it’s a bit cold. You spend 20 minutes squeezing the cam into the tiniest clutch bag even if it means you can’t take your keys, or a credit card, or in fact anything else and spend the rest of the night borrowing everything from your mates as they get more and more pissed off.
You take 400 pictures of yourself just to get 1 decent picture accurately displaying how the light hits the highlighter on your cheek and glistens in the perfect way. You also have a small voice in your head whilst you are taking these snaps reminiscent of Austin Powers. It says ‘that’s it baby. work it, work it baby, make people twitpic this shizzle” and worst of all…you listen to that voice 😛
In a crisis (like trying to find out when come dine with me starts, or whether you have meningitis) you turn to twitter. After asking a question of your followers, you refuse to look it up yourself, watch the bloody programme or go to the hospital until someone responds.
You feel suspicious of people without avatars and wonder if they are spies. You check through their profile to make sure they aren’t related to you and that they aren’t your boss under deep surveillance.
You see the T-shirt below and mentally note down that you need one if it comes in a different colour.
You accidentally call your ‘real life’ friends your followers. Ooops!
You have a ‘moment’ when you realise a certain brand or product is not on twitter OR facebook.
@rustyrockets
You respond when celebrities tweet assuming one day, they will tweet back …and acknowledge your existence…and ditch Katy Perry and run away with you…ok that’s probably just me
You write a baffling rant about some load of tosh and then sit gleefully waiting to see how many people agree with you, even though in reality they don’t really agree with you, they are 50% scared of you, 40% hoping you haven’t noticed they do exactly what you just ranted about and 10% leaving their ironic comment with sarcastic undertones.
you scream at the ISP’s customer service when your broadband goes down, the celebrity ‘do you know who I am’ replaced with ‘I have to update my blog don’t you understand’.
You then get even more angry when they ask you what a blog is, doesn’t the call centre have one?Jeeebus.
😛
Sarah x
Pics used are from google images